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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?